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So apparently, I suck at making rice crispy treats.

Chocolate Amaretto Rice Crispies

What is with all the little peaks and valleys?

This seems to happen to me quite a bit. I can pull off complicated and invold recipes (except French macarons, those stupid, gorgeous little cookies still elude me), but I absolutely fail at making the most simple treat like rice crispy treats.

I know exactly why that is, too. I just get cocky. I think, “Sure, I’ll just slap this together for a quick dessert. No big deal”. I’m in a rush and not paying attention. I don’t bother to measure accurately (if I even measure at all). I barely keep an eye on anything on the stove or in the microwave, which, yes I know, is never a good idea. Best case, you overcook something, worst case, you set something on fire. I got off easy; I just burnt the crap out of my chocolate.

Wait, chocolate? Oh right, I didn’t fully explain the other reason this cooking experiment failed so epically: too many modifications and substitutions.

First off, it was only me and my man this weekend, so I wanted to make something small. Rice crispy treat recipes always yield a massive number of bars. Six cups of Rice Krispies plus five cups of marshmallows? Yea, I don’t think so. So, I tried to quarter the recipe. I think there must be a certain threshold of marshmallows and butter necessary to melt properly, and half a bag just didn’t cut it.

They can't even get it together for a picture.

They can’t even get it together for a picture.

Second, I attempted to make Chocolate-Amaretto Rice Crispy Treats. Sounds delicious, right? It was perfect because I had a box of knock-off Cocoa Pebbles, a half bag of marshmallows, and some unsweetened baking chocolate on hand. It was supposed to be a “Cocoa Pebble” and amaretto base with a deep dark chocolate layer on top.

Well, like I said before, I think you need more than a cup and a half of marshmallows to melt properly, especially in the microwave, so my base just didn’t hold together very well. Then I got all cute and artsy, attempting to mold the rice crispies in to muffin tins, but I forgot to butter the muffin tins (this is where I hear Homer Simpons “DOH!” run through my head”). Yea…that muffin tin took a good amount of scrubbing. Finally, I got impatient with the chocolate layer, so I microwaved the unsweetened chocolate and just ended up with seized, grainy, burnt and utterly unappealing chocolate. That weird rust and char smell is not appetizing. Needless to say, it went straight down the garbage disposal. :(

I am over exaggerating some. To tell the truth, the end result wasn’t bad at all. The rice crispy treats alone, despite their gritty texture and their tendency to fall apart, were pretty delicious. Its hard to screw up too badly with chocolate and amaretto. Least ways, it was tasty enough to convince me to give it another shot in the future.

Chocolate Amaretto Rice Crispies

See these look okay (?)

Next time, I’ll do it right. I promise. So look for Chocolate-Amaretto Rice Crispy Treats Done Right some time soon.

“If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” – Thomas Edison